


A Breath of Fresh Air

by closedcaptioning



Category: Assassination Classroom
Genre: Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-27
Updated: 2019-06-27
Packaged: 2020-05-20 12:24:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19376647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/closedcaptioning/pseuds/closedcaptioning
Summary: Sometimes Isogai finds it hard to breathe. Karma teaches him that it's okay to exhale.





	A Breath of Fresh Air

Isogai has long accepted that he isn’t special _. _

 

He isn’t especially clever like Nagisa, or good at baseball like Sugino, or a master of potions like Okuda. 

 

He isn’t striking like Karma, all fiery red hair and glowing amber eyes (like a star up in the sky, unreachable yet so so beautiful).

 

He’s just  _ Isogai. _ All he can really do is watch, from the background, be there with a smile on his face (but he knows the light in his eyes is only the reflection of his classmates’ radiance).

 

\---

 

Karma’s words flow like slippery satin. They will wrap around you, making you feel cool and comfortable and leaving goosebumps on your skin -- but once you try to grab onto them, they’ll slide out of your grasp. 

 

“Hey, Isogai.” Karma purrs, leaning across the desk. “I need your help with something.”

 

“What’s that?” Isogai shuts his book. 

 

Karma rests his head in his hand, eyes narrowing playfully. He doesn’t say anything else; he just regards him with those brilliant eyes, the fringe of his hair falling a bit into his eyes like the soft strands of a broken spider web.

 

“I-” Isogai starts to say, then closes his mouth again. “Karma, did you need something?”

 

Karma blinks languidly, pushing himself up. “Nah.” A pause. “See you around, Isogai,” he lilts, turning to leave. 

 

“Yeah.” Isogai says a beat too late. He clears his throat. “See you around, Karma.”

 

\---

 

First, it’s:  _ Make sure your mother gets some rest. It’ll probably clear itself up in a week or so. _

 

Then:  _ We’ll have to run some more tests. Are you giving her the medicine we prescribed? _

 

And, finally:  _ I’m sorry, but it may never get better. We can’t do much but pray, now. _

 

Isogai grits his teeth and works harder, puts in extra hours, smiles more at the customers, stays after to help clean. He works, and talks, and laughs, all to keep himself busy -- so that he can keep running from the weight threatening to crush him, hovering above his head, casting a dark shadow over everything he does.

 

\---

 

Some days, Isogai feels like the world around him is muffled, like he’s been dunked underwater and is reaching for the surface when he realizes that he doesn’t know which way is up. 

 

_ Inhale:  _

 

Nakamura, Nagisa, Sugino, Okuda, Kayano, Karma, Maehara, Terasaka, Kataoka. The names of his classmates. Class 3-E. Isogai might be a fake, might be incapable of ever keeping up with them, but he has to stay strong. Keep a smile on his face, a twinkle in his eye, because that’s what he does. What he’s supposed to do.

 

_ Exhale. _

 

Isogai studies history because it forces him to remember that the world is big, that things other than Class 3-E and Koro-sensei and Karma’s sharp smirk exist. He studies history to put his family’s struggles, his sick mother and dependent siblings into a larger context, to remind himself that he can  _ do something _ to help for once in his life, to try to convince himself that he’s not useless.

 

\---

 

It starts with a phone call, with  _ I don’t know how much time she has left.  _ Isogai crumples to the floor in the hallway outside the classroom, feeling cold all over. He has to remember to--  _ Inhale. Exhale. _

 

Footsteps. Isogai forces himself to look up, lets his eyes travel upwards from gray pants to a black unbuttoned jacket to, finally, a pair of amber eyes. Karma doesn’t say anything, just reaches a hand out. Isogai eyes it for a second, then takes it. 

 

Isogai closes his eyes, attempts to get his breathing under control. He only opens them again when he’s sure he won’t break down. “Sorry about that.” he says, voice remarkably steady.

 

Karma huffs out a small breath of laughter. “You’re crushing my hand, you know.”

 

Isogai looks down. Karma’s fingers are turning white with how hard Isogai was gripping them-- “Sorry! I didn’t notice!” Isogai drops his hand.

 

“Don’t worry about it.” Karma slides down the wall to sit down next to Isogai. Isogai can feel the warmth of Karma’s shoulder, pressed up next to him, through their uniform jackets. 

 

They sit quietly for a while, Karma playing with the cuff of his sleeve and Isogai focusing on breathing ( _ Inhale. Exhale. _ ). Finally, Isogai breaks the silence. “My mom is… they don’t know how much time she has left.” he says softly, not meeting Karma’s eyes.

 

Karma shifts next to him, places his hand over Isogai’s. Isogai continues, “She’s just… she’s been sick for a while, and I guess I always hoped she would get better, and I still  _ want to _ \-- hope, that is -- but sometimes I just feel like I’m suffocating. Sometimes it gets to be too much.” His voice cracks on the last word.

 

There’s a beat of silence, and Isogai is lifting his head to look up at Karma when he feels the weight of Karma’s arm on his shoulders. Isogai smiles a bit. “Is this a hug, Karma?” he asks.

 

“If you want it to be.” Karma’s eyes glint in the dim light of the hallway, making it seem like his irises are lit up with miniature fires on the inside. 

 

Isogai shifts a bit so that he can wrap his arms around Karma’s torso, and feels Karma do the same. He rests his head of Karma’s shoulder, burying his nose in the fabric of his jacket. Karma smells like cinnamon, like freshly baked goods and newly washed linens. Karma smells  _ clean. _

 

Isogai pulls away first. He takes a deep breath. “Thank you, Karma,” he says genuinely, flashing Karma a quick grin. 

 

Karma smiles back at him. “Really, it was no problem,” he says, words laced with something heavy, so unlike his usual carefree manner that Isogai blinks. “See you around, Isogai.”

 

“Yeah. See you around, Karma.”

 

\---

  
  



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